Phan: Subscribers

Title: Subscribers
Author: Puppymad (I made this account when I was 11. Sorry.)
Pairing: Danisnotonfire/AmazingPhil, Phil Lester/Dan Howell, Phan
Genre: Fluff
Rating: PG :')
Warnings: Contains SRS KISSING.
Author's Notes: How I thought Phil would be like when he realised Dan had overtaken him on the whole subscribers front.


-Phil's POV-

I stared blankly at my laptop screen, almost disbelievingly: "243,000 subscribers" read the top of the page, taunting me. Jealousy began to twist at my stomach and engulf all my thoughts and emotions, smothering me and stopping my brain from ticking. This wasn't my Youtube channel. This was Dan's. He'd overtaken me. I'd saw it coming for months now, I knew from the day I met him that this would happen; with his sarcastic humour and attractive looks he was inevitably going to be a lot popular than ugly, boring me. I went back to the other tab opened, my twitter, where my mentions box did nothing to comfort me:

mrsdanhowell: danisnotonfire Congratz getting more subs than Amazingphil ! U deserve it!
ilovedanisnotonfire: danisnotonfire Amazingphil Whos getting the ensuite in the new place now? Lol !
@danfan5eva: danisnotonfire well done 4 overtaking Amazingphil haaha. Ily aaf <3333

I sighed closed my laptop over and, crawling dejectedly under my bed covers, silently scolded myself for being such a selfish, self-centred 'friend'. I should be pleased for Dan! He'd done so well in such a short space of time. I couldn't be so horrible. I should be celebrating with him, he was my best friend after all.  IS! He IS my best friend. Ugh Phil, what are you doing? You love Dan. Half of me wanted to go and congratulate him and the other half wanted me to lie there and cry, forever wallowing in my self-pity. My vision blurred and I felt my dry throat swell, I pulled my knees tightly to my chest and lay silently, blinking back tears like a lost, forgotten child. At that precise moment, guess who burst in and interrupted my train of thought? Yes. That's right. Dan.

A smile split his face, showing his oh-so-sickening dimples that everyone loved, and he was jumping energetically with enthusiasm. "I wonder why" I thought bitterly.  I forced the corners of my mouth up momentarily into a smile, determinedly not meeting his eyes and looking straight past him so he couldn't sense my inner turmoil. "Phil!" he said, his voice shaking with excitement, "Youtube…I've…sorry…subscribers…" It was obvious what he was trying to say, he had come here to gloat, I rolled over and turned my back to him sighing, giving up in my plans to act even remotely pleased for him. "Phil?" he whispered softly, pausing before saying "Sorry." I closed my eyes and let the tears fall to my pillow, ashamed at how I couldn't be happy for him just this once.

I winced as I felt the mattress sink with another's weight but still didn't turn round, I couldn't meet his eyes. I couldn't. I knew he was staring at me but tears still fell and I knew my face would be red, blotchy and even more of an eyesore than usual. "Phil…" he bleated again but even softer, his smooth voice breaking slightly mid-word, making my heart do the same. I felt a delicate hand on my shoulder and became tense as Dan leaned over my lying body. I held my breath as he hesitated for a split-second before pressing his warm lips against the side of my head, sending fireworks through my veins and banishing all feelings of annoyance towards him. "I'm sorry," he repeated as he stood up and began to walk away, making me feel even guiltier than I was already. I closed my eyes and swallowed what little pride I had left, "No Dan, I'm sorry," I said, voice clouded with emotion, "I'm sorry I need to be jealous, I'm sorry I can't be the best friend, I'm sorry I can't be happy for you. I'm just so sorry." I heard Dan freeze before whispering, "It doesn't matter…I shouldn't have-" "No Dan, I shouldn't have!" I sobbed, "I was just being an idiot…AGAIN." He sighed in response, walking back over to my bed and sat on it once again, "Philip Michael Lester, sit up now and look at me" he said in a low, authoritative tone. I pulled myself up, aware of my tear-stained face and the fact I had no shirt on, and with all my power forced myself to look at Dan. His chocolate eyes had become huge glowing orbs, wide with concern as he searched my face, a worrying expression crossing his. I felt my cheeks burn scarlet as I was suddenly aware of how naked I was, my eyes hit the floor and the trance was broken.

"You are not an idiot. You are perfect," he breathed, delicately touching my cheek and startling me to look up into his beautiful eyes again and lose myself in their depths, "In every way." I wasn't perfect, I was horrible, nothing he could say could convince me otherwise; he was the perfect one. I saw it now, the reason why he was so popular, he wasn't just attractive: he was gorgeous. With his tanned, flawless complexion – with his white smile that lit up the room, making everyone present instantly happier – with his adorable dimples – with his warm, chocolate eyes that conveyed so much emotion – with his shiny, brown hair that he straightened into perfection even though he still looked amazing with it curly: Dan was all I wanted. Dan was all I couldn't have; I'd never be good enough. I closed my eyes and sighed, "No I'm not…not for you"

Dan's eyes darted across my face, confused; he bit his lip and murmured, "Yes. Yes you are." He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine hesitantly and I melted into him, lust and excitement flooding my emotions. Our mouths moved in sync, while one of Dan's arms snaked round my naked waist, the other entangled in my hair, pulling me closer. I moaned as he bit my bottom lip, it felt so good, he tasted so good. My hand ran up his shirt, roaming his body and he groaned in response, leaning into me until our bodies lay together like a finished jigsaw. Dan was an outstanding kisser. His tongue battled mine but he triumphed for dominance, pushing me firmly down on the bed and straddling me, legs at either side. He moved from my mouth and left a soft trail of fluttering kisses to my neck where he finally pulled back, making me groan silently with disappointment. He leant over me again, making my heart flutter once more, and whispered hoarsely in my ear, "You are amazing."